Summer fun in Rio Nido -- 2009

Today's recessionary trends which declare summer "stay-cations" all the rage, make me feel like quite the cutting-edge trendsetter. Once again, my family & I plan to spend summer right here in Rio Nido -- a cool, green, redwood-shaded, historic enclave of a mere 179 dwellings nestled amongst the winding canyons & along the Russian River -- for some good, clean, summer fun (I've heard that some good, down-and-dirty, summer fun can be had here too, but as a dorky stay-at-home mom with 3 kids, I fall asleep before any of that stuff happens).

Our charming little collection of winding canyons shaded by redwoods is located 2 miles east of Guerneville (the largest town in our area), just a mile or two West of the famed Korbel Winery, off of River Road.

RIO NIDO SUMMER EVENTS:

RIO NIDO ROADHOUSE --- POOL, RESTAURANT, BAR, & MUSIC all summer long: The pool & snack bar officially opens Memorial Day Weekend, but Leanne & Brad started early because this past weekend was so danged hot! They also run a bar & restaurant with good food for reasonable prices, & host an eclectic assortment of danceable bands on Saturday nights for a modest $5.00 per adult (kids are free) in their attractive, enclosed picnic area.

RIO NIDO HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION EVENTS

Come join the fun! Everyone's invited!

Once again, these events are hosted between Rio Nido Road & Canyon Seven Road (off of River Road) in the main picnic area, except for the golf tournament. Once you turn in, we're hard to miss. If you live in Rio Nido, PLEASE consider joining our neighborhood association (information provided below). You don't need to actually own a home, you just need to live here, run a business here, summer here on a regular basis; plus a filled-out form, a pulse, & $20):

• Memorial Day Chicken Barbecue, Sunday May 24^th: Food: 4pm-7pm ($8.00 adult, $5.00 child). Music & dancing: 5pm-9pm
• Fourth of July Hot Dog & Hamburger Barbecue, Saturday July 4^th: Food: 5pm-8pm $5.00 per plate; Music & Dancing: 5pm-9pm
• Rio Nido Cleanup Day, July 11th
• Pancake Breakfast: Sunday July 19^th: Breakfast 9am-12noon. Adults $6.00, Child $3.00
• Rio Nido Homeowners Golf Tournament, Saturday August 8^th: Northwood Golf Club, starting at 9am. 2-player Better Ball format (no handicap). $80 per player. Includes: 18 holes, cart & BBQ at Rio Nido BBQ area after game. To sign up, list the names & addresses of the players, include a check payable to the Rio Nido Homeowners Association, & snail mail to RNHA P.O. Box #A, Rio Nido, CA. For more information, contact Troy Held at troymheld at yahoo dot com (this is not formatted as a link because I don’t want the poor guy to get automatically-generated spam)
• Pancake Breakfast & Art Festival, Sunday August 16^th: Breakfast 9am-12noon. Adults; $6.00, Child $3.00; Rio Nido Art Festival 10am-3pm
• Rio Nido Homeowners Association (RNHA) General Membership Meeting, Saturday August 29^th at 11am.
• Labor Day Chicken Barbecue, Sunday September 6th: Food: 4pm-7pm ($8.00 adult, $5.00 child). Music & dancing: 5pm-9pm
• MARSHMALLOW ROASTS ... To be announced: For good, wholesome family fun, join our gracious hosts, Domenic & Suzanne Farnocchia for roasting marshmallows by a roaring campfire, followed by a rated G movie (maybe PG, if they’re feeling kind of wild).
• RIO NIDO MINI GOLF – OPEN WEEKEND EVENINGS Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day weekend: Our mini golf course isn’t as fancy as the one on Drake Road near downtown Guerneville (which is wonderful & seems well on its way towards becoming designated as an historical landmark), but it’s fun, charmingly designed, is in walking distance for folks who live or vacation in the neighborhood, it costs only .50 cents per play, & it’s RNHA member Susie Markham’s labor of love. The kids adore it – plus, it keeps them occupied & somewhat corralled during our events. There’s even a small rec-room with kids’ games & inexpensive candy, chips & sodas for sale.
• Cool, shady playground: We also have a lovely little playground & picnic area with a circular path for scooters, roller skates, & bicycles/tricycles, which goes over a charming little bridge for our seasonal creek. It’s located a couple of “blocks” north of our picnic area, post office & fire station.

IF YOU’RE A VISITOR OR NEWCOMER: Bring along some extra cash to the holiday events, because you may want to buy a Rio Nido T-Shirt or Sweat shirt with a picture of our winking moon; purchase a yummy dessert from the baked goods table; treat your kids to minigolf; or wet your whistle with some beer, wine, or a mixed drink. You’ll also need an extra layer, because it gets cool here at night. If you have kids & feel nostalgic for the sort of fun, small-town summers you enjoyed as a child, Rio Nido is definitely the place to go – especially during summer holidays.

There are also tons of festivals throughout our area throughout the summer & a lively fireworks show on July 4^th weekend in downtown Guerneville. For events listings, visit the Russian River Chamber of Commerce in downtown Guerneville or check their Web site at http://www.russianriver.com/ . If you want to stay here in Rio Nido, consider a vacation rental through Balaika Guest Homes or D&G Equities. These folks are reliable & have a good selection of rentals in this area.

IF YOU LIVE HERE - Please support the RNHA – Become a member: Do you live, work, or own property in Rio Nido or on Rio Nido Road (which is basically in Rio Nido, despite the Guerneville zip code)? If so, PLEASE join the RNHA. All you need to join is $15, a membership form with your contact information (RNHA has them at the booth at all the major events), & a pulse. Your yearly membership dues will help support all these events; maintenance of our picnic area (which is available year-round) & mini golf course. You will also periodically receive an RNHA newsletter with local news & upcoming events (it seems to come out about four times per year). Despite the organization’s name, renters are also welcome to join. For more information & sign-up forms, please visit the RNHA table at one of our holiday events, or write to: Rio Nido Homeowners’ Association, PO Box A, Rio Nido, CA 95471.

R.I.P. Russian River Monthly

On April 17, 2009, Writers and staff for the "Russian River Monthly" received emails from General Manager Zelda Michaels announcing that the well-respected and much-loved 13-year-old local newspaper has folded. "This is a letter I hoped never to write," Ms. Michaels sadly acknowledges, and goes on to explain that the publisher (who has backed the paper as a silent partner and prefers to remain anonymous) pulled the plug because advertising goals have not been met and "anticipated sales would most likely continue to fall short". (NOTE: I strongly & vehemently disagree with this pessimistic assessment of the paper's future prospects!)

People close to the "Russian River Monthly" provide various theories regarding the cause of the publication's demise, including: The current recession, which has hit "Russian River Monthly" readers and advertisers particularly hard; Lack of "counter copies" which would would have delivered more ad views to well-heeled visitors; Stiff competition from the "West County Gazette" (which circulates in more affluent parts of the county, and can afford to charge less for ads because its publisher, Vesta Copestakes, is an amazing one-woman-show who employs no writers or staff), and; Lack of strong leadership and vision.

Observers also hint at acrimonious struggles amongst mutually hostile factions within the newspaper. The two most frequently-mentioned groups consist of: (1) People who feel that founding member and Managing Editor, John DeSalvio (aka "The Mayor of Guerneville"), is egotistical, irresponsible, and utterly impossible to work with; and (2) um ... John DeSalvio.

Although the departure of the "Russian River Monthly" for the local toxic landfill coincides with the departure of John DeSalvio for Burbank, CA (in the grand scheme of things, are these twain destinations truly so far apart?), these events are unrelated. Although Mr. DeSalvio has long served as the public face of our local newspaper and has made many important contributions, he is not actually the publisher (contrary to common belief) ... um ... unless he actually IS. The publisher IS anonymous, after all.

Personally, I'm sad to see the "Russian River Monthly" go. And not just because I'm losing my glamorous job as a human interest columnist and am now once again relegated to the drab role of "hausfrau".

Although I truly enjoy reading Ms. Copestakes' "The West County Gazette" & Johanna Lynch's "Russian River Times" & appreciate everything they do for our community, the "Russian River Monthly" was the only local paper that consistently provided high-quality reporting and objective journalism. The sort of quality you can only get by actually paying reporters, columnists, and editors to stay on top of things and go to all those bored (oops, I mean "board") meetings -- even if it is only a measly five cents per word.

I sure hope other local publishers can pick up the slack.

West County Buzz, April 2009 (my column in the "Russian River Monthly"

West County Buzz, April 2009
by Elisabeth Parker

MY LAST "RUSSIAN RIVER MONTHLY" COLUMN !!!! ... SERIOUSLY ... READ MY FOLLOWING BLOG POST!

Too Good to Be True … On Apr. 1, 2009, Sonoma County Controller Rod Dole and the Board of Supervisors held a 9:00 a.m. press conference in front of the Employment Development Department (EDD) building in Santa Rosa to announce a moratorium on property taxes.

"Tough times call for tough choices." Dole proclaimed tearfully before a cheering throng of recently laid-off citizens filing unemployment claims. "Budget deficits have forced Sonoma County to cut back on tax collection services. For this, I deeply apologize from the bottom of my tiny, cold heart."

5th district supervisor Efren Carrillo elaborated, "My West County constituents demand innovative and cost-effective solutions to the complex economic and environmental challenges we face.”

April Fool! Alas, the County expects local residents to file and pay their taxes as usual.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can’t. Speaking of our tax dollars at work, nine local residents (who apparently believe themselves able to count) showed up at the Guerneville Library at 11:00 a.m. on March 3^rd to apply for $20 per hour jobs with the U.S. 2010 Census. These temporary positions require employees to go door to door and conduct interviews with anyone who happens to be home and isn’t brandishing a weapon.

First, Recruiter Robert Mitchell gave an overview of the job requirements and hiring process, then he passed out the rather lengthy application forms, which asked questions like whether applicants have served time in jail or held elective office (the former should apply for banking jobs). Catherine Young, a public relations consultant and member of the Russian River Redevelopment Oversight Committee (RRROC) asked, “Should I check ‘Yes’ here?” (for holding elective office, not serving time in jail). Alas, even Mitchell felt uncertain about whether serving on RRROC officially counts as holding an “elective office”.

Qualifications for census takers include a working vehicle, valid driver’s license, high scores on the 30-minute test, and the ability to correctly fill out copious quantities of forms. According to the www.2010Census.gov Web site, the Federal Government uses information gathered from households to allocate spending on public projects like roads, schools, public safety, parks, and housing. According to Mitchell, job-seekers with the highest test scores will be notified by the end of April. Since Young scored 98 out of a possible100 on the 30-minute, 28-question test, she’ll probably land one of these coveted jobs.

Exit, stage left … At least one person won’t be home when Young knocks on his door. Long-time resident John DeSalvio, who many folks regard as the suave and cheerful “Mayor of Guerneville”, will soon leave us after 28 years on the River. DeSalvio has served our community in various functions, including a recent stint on RRROC. He was also among the original founders of this publication when it launched 12 years ago, and continues contributing as managing editor, designer, and advertising sales representative.

I Left My Heart in … Downtown Burbank? DeSalvio cheerfully explains that he’s moving to Burbank, CA to join his boyfriend, Ross, and to pursue a new career in screenwriting, playwriting, and doing voice-overs. “I’m working with a few people on various projects,” notes DeSalvio, but can’t reveal anything more due to those pesky non-disclosure agreements. Friends can bid DeSalvio farewell at his 68^th birthday bash on May 8^th at Main Street Station in downtown Guerneville. For a modest cover charge of $5.00, the evening’s entertainment features DeSalvio singing pop standards and Broadway show tunes, and performances from other local talent including Kit Mariah and Lois Pearlman.

Outdoor Barbecue, rain or shine … Apparently, Vesta Copestakes of Forestville isn’t the only Russian River resident who revels in rain. On Saturday March 21, about 20 neighbors in Rio Nido gathered at Bruno Farnocchia Memorial Park at 4:00 p.m. for a potluck, barbecue and marshmallow roast in the pouring rain! Thanks to the tarps, which Domenic Farnocchia (the deceased Bruno’s grandson) and Matt Bedford cleverly hung from trees prior to the event, the majority of celebrants stayed reasonably dry. Notable exceptions consisted of local children, who – fueled with immense quantities of sugar after consuming burnt marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers – frolicked around the adjacent playground and shallow creek. “This is fun. We definitely needed to do this,” concluded Farnocchia.

Blast from the past: Here on the Russian River, even our water agency’s utilitarian booster station (which pumps our water supply uphill) in Guernewood Park has a colorful past. When asked why locals call the booster station “Handy Andy’s”, Sweetwater Springs Board Member Gaylord Schapp explained, “A handy man named Andy used to live there for years, above George’s Hideaway. He was a colorful character with lots of kids.” Since then, a fire destroyed the house. Handy Andy was also a popular toy tool kit from the 1950’s, which now fetches $69.99 and up on eBay. Later, “Handy Andy” evolved into a slang expression for poor or generic workmanship, similar to today’s “Home Depot Nouveau”.