NIMBY goes BANANAs in Western Sonoma County

Has anyone noticed that here in Western Sonoma County, people are constantly objecting to having things near them? Seriously, this place is NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) gone totally BANANAs (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anything)!

The following things come immediately to mind:

• Fire station sirens: Neighbors in Graton keep suing their own Fire Department because the siren is too noisy. Never mind that the loud siren is the only way to effectively summon their volunteer fire fighters in that far-flung, rural community.
• Homeless shelters: Yikes! Let’s not go there.
• Skateboard parks: Our fear of sullen, pimply-faced teen-agers hanging around smoking dope ensures that they’ll continue using abandoned homes and secluded riverbanks for these nefarious purposes. The same goes for youth centers and additional neighborhood “pocket parks.”
• Cigarette smokers: Sorry, but the smoking area is located in Nevada. Pot smoke’s okay, though.
• Electro magnetic fields: Cell phones, cell phone towers, and Smart Meters cause cancer! Pot smoke’s okay, though.
• Wineries and vineyards: Um … but we don’t we live in the wine country? Medical marijuana farms are okay, though.
• Vacation homes: We definitely need to place restrictions on the more egregious activities that go on in some of these places, but we also need to remember that our economy depends on tourism.
  
• Convenience stores: The new owners of Guerneville Food & Gas (formerly known as Russian River Gas) want to install a delicatessen and sell beer and wine. Many of us folks in Rio Nido and along Old River and Riverside Roads would love to have a full-service gas station and convenience store within walking or biking distance. Unfortunately, the County will not give them a license to sell beer and wine due to objections from just ONE OLD LADY who doesn’t even live here year-round. Despite GF&G’s location on River Road and the proximity of hotels and vacation homes, the area is zoned as “residential” and hence liquor sales can be prevented by a single resident or property owner. The previous owner spoke with this lady personally, promised to install a security camera, prevent people from drinking on-site, and install a fence to screen the noise … but alas, no go.
• Music venues: Despite Rio Nido’s long and fabled history as a music Mecca, some neighbors have caused hassles for the Rio Nido Roadhouse with the County. Most of us folks here in Rio Nido absolutely love the Roadhouse as a music hall, restaurant, summer-pool hangout, and general gathering spot. The RNR also serves as our unofficial community center, hosting numerous meetings and fundraisers benefitting important programs and services. Besides – unlike many of the wild parties held in River vacation homes – the RNR’s music ends at 10:00pm at the latest.
• Multi-unit housing: Despite our chronic housing shortage, lack of year-round customers to support our local businesses, and the desirability of walk-able neighborhoods and better public transportation (which require high-density housing in order to be viable), nobody wants these large structures blocking their sunlight and views. But … where will our children live when they grow up?
• Gravel quarries and asphalt plants: I agree with people on that, but could change my mind if these businesses created enough well-paying jobs to make the visual and environmental impacts more palatable, and if the people driving those ugly, obnoxious slow-moving gravel trucks would (a) paint their trucks to look nicer; and (b) let motorists pass them when passing is safe & legal, instead of deliberately changing lanes to prevent us from passing.
• Tattoo parlors that sell sex toys: I wrote about the neighbors protesting in front of Red Spaghetti last year, but after receiving comments and talking with nearby residents, have concluded that we should "live and let live." In general, they're a positive presence in the Hacienda neighborhood, plus their coffee is AMAZING!.
  

Can you think of anything else you don’t want near you? If so, please feel free to add your comments below.

Rockin' Rio Nido: October happenings

Below, please find the column my neighbor Elena Chronis and I wrote for the Sonoma County Gazette's October issue.

Rockin' Rio Nido
by Elena Chronis and Elisabeth Parker

Fall is Falling

As Halloween approaches, the warm days of Indian summer give way to a brisk chill in the air and soft autumn rains, while leaves on the local trees and grapevines display their bright, fall colors. Most of our summertime residents have returned home, but some continue visiting on weekends to enjoy this lovely time of year.

Fun-Raising at the Rio Nido Roadhouse

The RNR hosted two entertaining and successful fundraisers last month for the Russian River Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and the Guerneville School. They’ve also launched a new and improved menu, and hosted a fun “Halloween Howl” party with the Poyntless Sistars on Oct. 30^th.

The Sisters threw their fabulous Celebrity Pie Throw on Oct. 2. This afternoon of fun and frivolity featured Sister Savior Applause and Sister Sarah Femme as the MC’s, and local notables – including Valerie Munthe, Dax Berg, Vicki Herman, Jennifer Neeley, Katrina Thurman, and Rio Nido’s Doug Misner and Brad Metzger – as the “pie faces.” As usual, the Sisters’ glitzy dresses and elaborate makeup were colorful, beauteous works of art. Proceeds went to the Sisters’ Grant Fund, which donates money to worthy local organizations.

Guerneville School parents Lori Babcock, Kristin Boland, Jaime Wilson, and Jenny Zapp organized a fun-filled 2^nd Annual Spaghetti Cook-Off on Oct. 17^th, featuring an assortment of exciting raffle prizes, savory sauces from 20 contestants, and a hearty dinner. Despite the cool, drizzly weather, the event drew approximately 160 people and raised over $3000 for school programs. Once again, Walt Perkins took first prize with his “Mama Nona’s” hearty Sicilian sauce.

Rio Nido Lodge Seeks Business Tenants

If you've always dreamed of having your own store-front, coffee shop, gallery, studio, mini-mart, laundromat, wine tasting room, B&B, or other business, join Pegasus Theater and rent space at the historical, centrally-located Lodge for as little as $1.00-$3.00 per square foot. The Lodge offers ample parking; easy access from River Road, and; strong year-round and summer demand for products and services.

Dennis Judd from Cipora Properties reports that updates and repairs will be completed within the next few months, and that move-in bonuses are available to those renting larger spaces (depending on the use and proposed improvements). Cipora Properties also has an option to purchase the acre adjoining the lodge and the front parcel at the entrance of Rio Nido. For more information, visit http://ciporaproperties.com/rionidolodge.html or call (707) 824-9313.

Where’s Mama Tina?

In case you've missed Tina Eliason from the Roadhouse, we want you to know that her home-made ravioli venture has proven so wildly successful that she no longer has time for serving and bartending. Look for “Mama Tina’s” assortments of flavorful, pillowy delights at Speer’s Market, local farmer's markets, and fine eateries throughout Sonoma County.

Finally … a CONVENIENT Convenience Store!

Vijay Sharma and Johit Kumar recently purchased the gas station/mini-mart on River Rd. and renamed it Guerneville Food and Gas. They’ve already begun remodeling and plan to install a deli and – eventually – sell beer and wine. It may take a while (this is Sonoma County, after all …). In the meantime, enjoy their coffee and yummy breakfast burritos. We look forward to having a high-quality convenience store in walking distance.

Winter Holiday Happenings

Don’t miss the Merchant Open House and Tree-Trimming Ceremony on Dec. 3^rd in downtown Guerneville for a festive evening of great shopping, refreshments, and caroling. We can’t wait to enter another Rio Nido Float in Guerneville’s upcoming annual Holiday Parade of Lights on Dec. 4^th! This year’s theme is “World Dance Celebration.” If you want to participate, please contact us. If you’re looking for inexpensive, edible holiday gifts, grab some gourmet nuts and candies from our local Girl Scout troop – they’ll have a booth in front of Safeway during the first three weekends of November.

Got news? Email Elisabeth Parker at RussianRiverRattina@gmail.com and Elena Chronis at elenachronis@yahoo.com.