West County Buzz, April 2009 (my column in the "Russian River Monthly"

West County Buzz, April 2009
by Elisabeth Parker

MY LAST "RUSSIAN RIVER MONTHLY" COLUMN !!!! ... SERIOUSLY ... READ MY FOLLOWING BLOG POST!

Too Good to Be True … On Apr. 1, 2009, Sonoma County Controller Rod Dole and the Board of Supervisors held a 9:00 a.m. press conference in front of the Employment Development Department (EDD) building in Santa Rosa to announce a moratorium on property taxes.

"Tough times call for tough choices." Dole proclaimed tearfully before a cheering throng of recently laid-off citizens filing unemployment claims. "Budget deficits have forced Sonoma County to cut back on tax collection services. For this, I deeply apologize from the bottom of my tiny, cold heart."

5th district supervisor Efren Carrillo elaborated, "My West County constituents demand innovative and cost-effective solutions to the complex economic and environmental challenges we face.”

April Fool! Alas, the County expects local residents to file and pay their taxes as usual.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can’t. Speaking of our tax dollars at work, nine local residents (who apparently believe themselves able to count) showed up at the Guerneville Library at 11:00 a.m. on March 3^rd to apply for $20 per hour jobs with the U.S. 2010 Census. These temporary positions require employees to go door to door and conduct interviews with anyone who happens to be home and isn’t brandishing a weapon.

First, Recruiter Robert Mitchell gave an overview of the job requirements and hiring process, then he passed out the rather lengthy application forms, which asked questions like whether applicants have served time in jail or held elective office (the former should apply for banking jobs). Catherine Young, a public relations consultant and member of the Russian River Redevelopment Oversight Committee (RRROC) asked, “Should I check ‘Yes’ here?” (for holding elective office, not serving time in jail). Alas, even Mitchell felt uncertain about whether serving on RRROC officially counts as holding an “elective office”.

Qualifications for census takers include a working vehicle, valid driver’s license, high scores on the 30-minute test, and the ability to correctly fill out copious quantities of forms. According to the www.2010Census.gov Web site, the Federal Government uses information gathered from households to allocate spending on public projects like roads, schools, public safety, parks, and housing. According to Mitchell, job-seekers with the highest test scores will be notified by the end of April. Since Young scored 98 out of a possible100 on the 30-minute, 28-question test, she’ll probably land one of these coveted jobs.

Exit, stage left … At least one person won’t be home when Young knocks on his door. Long-time resident John DeSalvio, who many folks regard as the suave and cheerful “Mayor of Guerneville”, will soon leave us after 28 years on the River. DeSalvio has served our community in various functions, including a recent stint on RRROC. He was also among the original founders of this publication when it launched 12 years ago, and continues contributing as managing editor, designer, and advertising sales representative.

I Left My Heart in … Downtown Burbank? DeSalvio cheerfully explains that he’s moving to Burbank, CA to join his boyfriend, Ross, and to pursue a new career in screenwriting, playwriting, and doing voice-overs. “I’m working with a few people on various projects,” notes DeSalvio, but can’t reveal anything more due to those pesky non-disclosure agreements. Friends can bid DeSalvio farewell at his 68^th birthday bash on May 8^th at Main Street Station in downtown Guerneville. For a modest cover charge of $5.00, the evening’s entertainment features DeSalvio singing pop standards and Broadway show tunes, and performances from other local talent including Kit Mariah and Lois Pearlman.

Outdoor Barbecue, rain or shine … Apparently, Vesta Copestakes of Forestville isn’t the only Russian River resident who revels in rain. On Saturday March 21, about 20 neighbors in Rio Nido gathered at Bruno Farnocchia Memorial Park at 4:00 p.m. for a potluck, barbecue and marshmallow roast in the pouring rain! Thanks to the tarps, which Domenic Farnocchia (the deceased Bruno’s grandson) and Matt Bedford cleverly hung from trees prior to the event, the majority of celebrants stayed reasonably dry. Notable exceptions consisted of local children, who – fueled with immense quantities of sugar after consuming burnt marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers – frolicked around the adjacent playground and shallow creek. “This is fun. We definitely needed to do this,” concluded Farnocchia.

Blast from the past: Here on the Russian River, even our water agency’s utilitarian booster station (which pumps our water supply uphill) in Guernewood Park has a colorful past. When asked why locals call the booster station “Handy Andy’s”, Sweetwater Springs Board Member Gaylord Schapp explained, “A handy man named Andy used to live there for years, above George’s Hideaway. He was a colorful character with lots of kids.” Since then, a fire destroyed the house. Handy Andy was also a popular toy tool kit from the 1950’s, which now fetches $69.99 and up on eBay. Later, “Handy Andy” evolved into a slang expression for poor or generic workmanship, similar to today’s “Home Depot Nouveau”.

Summer happenings in Rio Nido

Summer is coming & Rio Nido has a lively assortment of fun, family-oriented events & other things to do throughout the summer. Unless otherwise indicated, the happenings listed below take place in our picnic area, between Rio Nido & Canyon Seven roads, which run (somewhat) straight from River Road. The Rio Nido Homeowners’ Association (RNHA) hosts these events & welcomes everyone to join in the fun, whether you’re living in the area or just visiting. I also encourage locals to join RNHA & have more information below.

For those of you who’ve never heard of Rio Nido, we’re an eclectic, rural, small-town enclave tucked into a series of canyons along the Russian River & sheltered by our abundant & beautiful redwood trees. The name is Spanish for “River’s Nest.” We have a strong sense of community, perhaps because we don’t get mail delivery & hence frequently gather at our local post office, where we almost always hear about local happenings & gossip first. Patty the Post Mistress sells tea & cappuccino along with postage stamps, has written a riveting occult-thriller novel (Raven: the Praying Bird,) & can also provide you with a complete astrological chart for $15. She’s amazing.

We’re located 2 miles east of Guerneville (the largest town in our area), just a mile or two West of the famed Korbel Winery, off of River Road.

RIO NIDO SUMMER EVENTS CALENDAR:

Once again, these events are hosted between Rio Nido Road & Canyon Seven Road (off of River Road) in the main picnic area, except for the golf tournament. Once you turn in, we're hard to miss. If you live in Rio Nido, PLEASE consider joining our neighborhood association (informaiton provided below):

• Memorial Day Chicken Barbecue, Sunday May 25^th: Food: 4pm-7pm ($8.00 adult, $5.00 child). Music & dancing: 5pm-9pm
• Fourth of July Hot Dog & Hamburger Barbecue, Saturday July 5^th: Food: 5pm-8pm $5.00 per plate; Music & Dancing: 5pm-9pm
• Rio Nido Cleanup Day: Saturday July 12^th: Join us at the Rio Nido BBQ area & bring gloves & a paper bag. I still need to get the time & details from Cleanup Committee Chair, Domenic Farnocchia, but I’ll keep you posted.
• Pancake Breakfast: Sunday July 20^th: Breakfast 9am-12noon. Adults $6.00, Child $3.00
• Rio Nido Homeowners Golf Tournament, Saturday August 9^th: Northwood Golf Club, starting at 9am. 2-player Better Ball format (no handicap). $80 per player. Includes: 18 holes, cart & BBQ at Rio Nido BBQ area after game. To sign up, list the names & addresses of the players, include a check payable to the Rio Nido Homeowners Association, & snail mail to RNHA P.O. Box #A, Rio Nido, CA. For more information, contact Troy Held at troymheld at yahoo dot com (this is not formatted as a link because I don’t want the poor guy to get automatically-generated spam)
• Pancake Breakfast & Art Festival, Sunday August 17^th: Breakfast 9am-12noon. Adults; $6.00, Child $3.00; Rio Nido Art Festival 10am-3pm
• Rio Nido Homeowners Association (RNHA) General Membership Meeting, Saturday August 30^th at 11am.
• Labor Day Chicken Barbecue, Sunday August 31^st: Food: 4pm-7pm ($8.00 adult, $5.00 child). Music & dancing: 5pm-9pm
• MARSHMALLOW ROASTS THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER on Saturday June 21^st, July 12^th, July 26^th, & August 10^th: For good, wholesome family fun, join our gracious hosts, Domenic & Suzanne Farnocchia for roasting marshmallows by a roaring campfire, followed by a rated G movie (maybe PG, if they’re feeling kind of wild).
• RIO NIDO MINI GOLF – OPEN WEEKEND EVENINGS Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day weekend: Our mini golf course isn’t as fancy as the one on Drake Road near downtown Guerneville (which is wonderful & seems well on its way towards becoming designated as an historical landmark), but it’s fun, charmingly designed, is in walking distance for folks who live or vacation in the neighborhood, it costs only .50 cents per play, & it’s RNHA member Susie Markham’s labor of love. The kids adore it – plus, it keeps them occupied & somewhat corralled during our events. There’s even a small rec-room with kids’ games & inexpensive candy, chips & sodas for sale.
• RIO NIDO ROADHOUSE POOL, RESTAURANT, BAR, & MUSIC all summer long: Thanks to the new owners, Leanne & Brad, we still have our fun, cool, & fabulous local pool & snack bar, which are open to the public. They also run a bar & restaurant with good food for reasonable prices, & host an eclectic assortment of melodic & danceable bands on Saturday nights for a modest $5.00 per adult (kids are free) in their attractive, enclosed picnic area.
• Cool, shady playground: We also have a lovely little playground & picnic area with a circular path for scooters, roller skates, & bicycles/tricycles, which goes over a charming little bridge for our seasonal creek. It’s located a couple of “blocks” north of our picnic area, post office & fire station.

IF YOU’RE A VISITOR OR NEWCOMER: Bring along some extra cash to the holiday events, because you may want to buy a Rio Nido T-Shirt or Sweat shirt with a picture of our winking moon; purchase a yummy dessert from the baked goods table; treat your kids to minigolf; or wet your whistle with some beer, wine, or a mixed drink. You’ll also need an extra layer, because it gets cool here at night. If you have kids & feel nostalgic for the sort of fun, small-town summers you enjoyed as a child, Rio Nido is definitely the place to go – especially during summer holidays.

There are also tons of festivals throughout our area throughout the summer & a lively fireworks show on July 4^th weekend in downtown Guerneville. For events listings, visit the Russian River Chamber of Commerce in downtown Guerneville or check their Web site at http://www.russianriver.com/ . If you want to stay here in Rio Nido, consider a vacation rental through Balaika Guest Homes or D&G Equities. These folks are reliable & have a good selection of rentals in this area.

IF YOU LIVE HERE - Please support the RNHA – Become a member: Do you live, work, or own property in Rio Nido or on Rio Nido Road (which is basically in Rio Nido, despite the Guerneville zip code)? If so, PLEASE join the RNHA. All you need to join is $15, a membership form with your contact information (RNHA has them at the booth at all the major events), & a pulse. Your yearly membership dues will help support all these events; maintenance of our picnic area (which is available year-round) & mini golf course. You will also periodically receive an RNHA newsletter with local news & upcoming events (it seems to come out about four times per year). Despite the organization’s name, renters are also welcome to join. For more information & sign-up forms, please visit the RNHA table at one of our holiday events, or write to: Rio Nido Homeowners’ Association, PO Box A, Rio Nido, CA 95471.

Summer Family Fun in Rio Nido

If you're looking into family activities or summer vacation options, you simply MUST check out Rio Nido. Despite the rustic, unassuming appearance of our secluded, eccentric little enclave, Rio Nido truly is an amazing summer paradise for year-round & visiting families alike. First, I'll list the summer attractions & events. At the end of this post, I'll also provide a list of accommodations for folks who'd like to visit Rio Nido

My husband & I bought our home here three years ago & it's one of the BEST decisions we've ever made. We adore our cozy, beautiful, friendly community nestled in a canyon by the river amongst the redwoods, & our daughter thinks it's sheer paradise year-round ... but summers are a total blast around here. We have a public swimming pool, a nice & shady playground, weekend peewee mini-golf, & an assortment of fun public events throughout the summer. Here, parents & grandparents have places to go & things to do where they can kick back a little & relax, while being able to keep children in sight & know that they're safe & having an awful danged-lot of fun.

First of all, we have the Rio Nido Pool which is open Memorial Day through Labor Day from 11:30am-5:30pm for $6.00 per person (free for children under 2 years). Also, call for lower group rates if a bunch of you want to go. They also offer very reasonable weekly, monthly, & season memberships. There's also a diligent lifeguard; a wading pool for little ones; a small video arcade for the older set; a grassy picnic area; & a reasonably-priced snack bar which serves delicious, well-prepared burgers & sandwiches with fresh veggies, generously-slathered PB&J sandwiches on whole wheat or white bread for a mere $1.75, & an assortment ice-cream & popsicle treats for under $2.00 a pop. Oh ... & did I mention that there's also a real bar? Mmmm ... pina coladas. If you live in or are staying in a place here in the canyon, you don't even need to worry about driving home, because you can walk! The Rio Nido Pool & Roadhouse is located at 14540 Canyon 2 Road by the entrance from River Road & the Rio Nido Inn. Call 869.0821 for more information.

On weekend evenings, drop by the charming little Peewee Mini-Golf (located off of River Road between Rio Nido Road & Canyon Seven Road just before the picnic area). They're open Friday, Saturday & Sunday evenings from 5pm-8pm. For just 50 cents (!), they give you a putter & ball & let you play as long as you want.

When the kids need to get their ya-yas out, take them to the pretty, little, shaded playground at Bruno Farnocchia Memorial Park past the Post Office & (like almost everything else) between Rio Nido & Canyon 7 Roads. There are also picnic tables, a giant redwood stump which children find fascinating for climbing & hiding, & a winding path for beginning bicyclists & tricylclists.

Our Rio Nido Home Owners' Association hosts a series of really fun events which are open to the public. All events are held in our large, public picnic area, which is located just off of River Road between Rio Nido Road & Canyon 7 Road. Membership is available to all property owners in the Canyon for only $15 per year. Associate memberships are available to renters for the same price. Please support our community.

• Homeowner's Association Meeting -- Saturday May 26th: 10-12pm.
  
• Memorial Day Chicken Barbecue -- Sunday May 27th: Grilled chicken, yummy beans, salads & rolls are served from 4pm-8pm. Adult plates are $8, kids plates are $4 (they give you LOTS of food). Baked goods, soft-drinks, wine & beer are also available for extremely reasonable prices. The band plays from 5pm-9pm & starts off with fun songs & games for the kids (Hokey Pokey, Chicken Dance, etc.) & then rocks out with some dance & swing tunes.
• Independence Day Weekend -- Hot Dog, Hamburger Night -- Saturday June 30th: Food served from 5pm-8pm ($6 adult/$6 child). Music & dancing 5pm-9pm.
  
• Pancake Breakfast -- Sunday July 15th: 9am-12noon. Adults $4, Kids, $2.
• Pancake Breakfast -- Sunday August 12th: 9am-12noon. Adults $4, Kids, $2, followed by the Rio Nido Art Festival.
• Rio Nido Art Festival -- Sunday August 12th: 10am-3pm. Come before 12noon for the yummy pancake breakfast. Enjoy artwork or purchase unique souvenirs by local artists. If you're a local artist or craftsperson & want to participate, we welcome you. Please contact Beverly at 869.8284 or Susan at 869.2538. The registration fee is a VERY reasonable $25 & may be open to negotiation. We've had excellent turn-out over the past three years.
  
• General HOA Membership Meeting -- Saturday August 25th: 11am. Meeting is open to members & associate members. After 3 years of membership you can be on the board.
• Labor Day Chicken Barbecue -- Sunday September 2nd: Food served from 4pm-7pm ($8 adult, $4 child). Music & dancing 5pm-9pm.

SUMMER POTLUCK MARSHMALLOW ROASTS

If you've got kids & live nearby or plan on visiting, please mark Rio Nido's Summer Potluck Marshmallow Roasts on your calendar!

• Saturday June 23rd
• Saturday July 7th
• Saturday July 21st
• Saturday August 4th

Hosted by our fabulous, friendly, community-oriented, & amazingly-organized neighbors Domenic & Suzanne, with sporadic help from other neighbors like us, these events are held evenings before dusk in the picnic area. I don't know the exact time when they start or end (even though we've attended these events) but you can pretty much count on things being in full swing between 6pm & 9pm.

Admission is free: Roaring campfire, marshmallow skewers, & kid's movies (shown after dark), & will be provided. Marshmallow's & s'more fixings (chocolate bars & graham crackers) will also be provided, but may run out.

Please bring: A food item & beverage to share, if you can; a second layer of clothes for everyone in your group (it gets cold at night); a towel or blanket for your kids to lie on while watching the movie; & some extra marshmallows & s'more fixin's if you happen to think of it. Cash donations are not required, but would be highly appreciated.

PLACES TO STAY IN RIO NIDO:

If you can find a place to stay here in the Canyon, you'll have even more fun because you'll be able to walk to all of our events, the pool, the park, etc.

• Balalaika Vacation Homes: Spacious, newly& beautifully-constructed, 2br-2ba, vacation homes with decks & other amenities offered for $145-$245 per night (in-season -- prices are even better off-season). You can visit their Web site or contact them via phone at 707-869-8400, or via email info@balalaikaguesthomes.com
• Rio Nido Inn: Alas, this gorgeous, tudor-constructed, & historic local landmark -- located right by the local swimming pool & in walking distance to other attractions & short driving or biking distance to others -- with its charmingly appointed rooms & beautiful antiques appears to be totally going to seed. Forget about continental breakfasts -- their kitchen was damaged by flooding & they haven't fixed it. Nor would you have a place in which to eat this fictitious breakfast, because the kitchen & dining areas are also in disrepair. The recent duct-taping of a cardboard box over a broken window pane does not bode well. Nonetheless, it's fairly comfy & extremely cheap. If that's your speed, bargain them down when they quote you a price. Their phone number is 707.869.4444.
• D & G Equities: This is the big real estate management company here in Western Sonoma County, & they handle the lion's share of local vacation rentals -- & year-round rentals too. Give them a call at 707.869.9030.
• Craig's List: Type in www.craigslist.org, select San Francisco Bay Area, then North Bay (Nbay) , then Vacation Rentals, then Russian River, & you'll find the best deals (alas, also the worst deals) on local rentals.
  

Please note that rental, home & vacation rental listings for Rio Nido are sometimes mixed up with Guerneville properties because our towns are adjacent & have overlapping boundaries.