Some fond memories of winter holidays on the River

I can’t believe we’ve been living here long enough to reminisce about holidays on the River. It’s easy to do since we have so many wonderful community traditions, including the ones below (I’ve been so crazy-busy, I didn’t have time to write things up in advance this year -- though my neighbors and I did list them on the Rio Nido Web site at http://www.rionido.net/. Information is also available from the Russian River Chamber of Commerce at http://www.russianriver.com/ ).

• Annual Pasta Dinner/Fundraiser: The flurry of festivities kicks off on the first Wednesday of December with the Gonnella family’s annual pasta dinner/fundraiser for Bob Burke’s Kids at the Union Hotel in Occidental. This year, my daughter’s choir group, the Russian River Choir, and other groups performed holiday music while the adults enjoyed a hearty dinner of pasta, assorted sauces, salad, garlic bread, and dessert. It’s free to attend, but this event gathers enough in donations to help fund Burke’s numerous gatherings and recreational activities for children with cancer and their families. Although the eponymous and much-loved Bob Burke passed away this year, his family keeps the traditions and foundation alive. This year’s event was well-attended, as hundreds of people gathered together to celebrate and show their support. We saw folks we haven’t seen in ages!
• Annual Tree-Trimming Downtown Guerneville: Not even the winter rains and recession Grinch can keep the holiday spirit away. Every year, on the first Thursday of December, our merchants decorate their storefronts and the street with lavish holiday lights and the Russian River Chamber of Commerce gathers folks together in our little town square to light the festively decorated Christmas tree. Okay, well, this year, the tree was a tad smaller than usual … but as I always say to my petite daughter who sometimes complains about being one of the littlest kids in her class … “good things come in small packages.” About 14 girls showed up from our wonderful Russian River Children’s Choir with Sonia and Ashley to sing Christmas carols and Chanukah songs. Since things were running a bit late, Sonia and Ashley took the girls around to go caroling throughout downtown, and in the Fire Station, and were rewarded with way too many cookies!
• Holiday Parade of Lights in Downtown Guerneville: On the first Saturday in December, Guerneville closes off Main Street and everyone on the River converges for our celebratory Annual Holiday Parade of Lights, in which local businesses and other organizations display their creative talents and strut their stuff with a magical assortment of elaborately-decorated floats. Alas, the Triple R’s float was sorely missed, but the 5&10, Russian River Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and a host of others kept everyone happy and entertained. This year’s theme was “World Dance Celebration” and folks definitely seemed ready to celebrate!
• More to come: Check out Pegasus Theater’s new production of “It’s a Wonderful Life” at the Rio Nido Lodge, local New Years Celebrations at the Rio Nido Roadhouse, Village Inn (in Monte Rio), and other venues, and more.

I also wanted to share the following personal holiday memories from a few years back. It always amazes me how quirky, eccentric, and kind people can be out here on the River … especially to children.

From the trunks of babes ...

Seven holiday seasons ago, we were still living in Berkeley, my husband got a bonus at work & we decided to take a mini-vacation from our total wreck/fixer of a house & booked a little cabin at River Lane here in Guerneville for a couple of days. On top of other stresses, our daughter was in massive exploratory toddler & potty-training mode, & the remodel for our rotting, mildew-ridden, antiquated bathroom was NOT going well (probably because we had no money & had to re-do the entire thing ourselves ASAP before the floor caved in).

River Lane was a tad shabby (it has since been refurbished), but affordable & possessed of a cozy, rustic charm … plus it had a lovely deck with a view of the river. We noticed a tall, striking-looking woman in high-heeled patent leather red pumps and a sparkly, red feather boa with her daughter (approximately aged 8) struggling in the parking area with a battered old car which refused to start, & my husband chivalrously offered to give her a jump-start. Meanwhile, my daughter played with the older girl & they got along famously.

The woman & her daughter seemed nice, intelligent, & stylishly dressed. I was also struck by the warmth and affection with which they treated each other and our daughter. But it soon became apparent that they were homeless & had been taking a brief respite from car camping, courtesy of the low, off-season hotel rates. This horrified & saddened us, because my husband & I have gone through rough times & still often struggle financially despite our making a good income. There but for the grace of G*d go I … We teeter precariously on the crumbling precipice of middle-class respectability & it seems frighteningly easy to lose footing & tumble over the edge & into the yawning abyss.

We invited them to have dinner with us, but they said they needed to move on because they visiting with friends “up north” that evening & were supposed to be there already. My daughter’s erstwhile playmate then reached into an over-stuffed garbage bag in the trunk of her car, retrieved a small, plush Simba toy (the Lion King was all the rage back then) & handed it to my daughter, saying “I want you to have this.” My daughter’s eyes widened with delight as she grinned from ear-to-ear, danced a happy little caper, & launched herself into the older girl’s open arms, crying, “I don’t want you to go!”

We don’t know what became of them, but Simba remains one of daughter’s prized possessions & we will never forget this act of spontaneously generosity from this slender, pretty girl with the fluffy ponytails & large, sparkling eyes framed by enormous eye-glasses. We still wonder what became of them and wish them well.

First Christmas home on the River ...

We bought our house & moved in during the following holiday season. Flush with cash from the sale of our previous adventure in sweat equity & an overly-frothy housing market (sigh, how we miss those days now that our current home is WAY underwater), we set about doing our little part to support local businesses and decided to do all of our holiday shopping in downtown Guerneville.

After purchasing some unique and attractive gifts from Etcetera, Wayne Skala’s funky jewelry shop, and Jennifer Neeley’s wonderfully eclectic Memories that Linger (we still miss the latter two stores), we wandered into Hemp and Chocolate. I indulged myself with a couple of new, fabulous outfits (the owner designed them herself – she’s quite talented), and my daughter and I picked out a couple of soft, plushy, gauzy fairy-dolls for her friends. Since she was only two at the time, she threw a fit when she realized that she couldn’t keep them. Of course I had discretely set aside one for her, but how could she know that?

Suddenly, the door opened, and my daughter stopped in mid-tantrum and exclaimed, “Santa Claus!” Then she joyfully ran up to hug the handsome, portly, older gentleman who had just walked in. Sure enough, he sported a red flannel shirt, silver spectacles, rosy cheeks, and full silvery white beard! I apologized profusely, but he cheerfully waved me off and asked what my daughter wanted for Christmas.

While paying for our purchases, this lovely man smiled, handed my daughter the fairy doll, and said, “Merry Christmas!”

… And our first flood

There’s nothing like moving in during a flood year to initiate you into the ways of the River awfully danged fast! It rained and rained over the following weeks through Christmas and New Years. My daughter and I enjoyed all the fabulous recreational puddle-stomping available, until one morning, we woke up to the amazing sight of neighbors kayaking down our street! Apparently, this was one of the legendary floods we had heard so much about. The floodwaters had stopped just short of our property by our town’s little Post Office. We were perched high and dry above the flood line, but we couldn’t get out for several days. Luckily, we had plenty of food, a full propane tank, and had somehow avoided losing our electricity.

Since my parents had sent us two boxes of luscious pears from Harry & David, and my aunt and uncle had sent us a crepe pan with crepe mix, we invited our neighbors (who were all gathered at the Post Office) over for brunch. This proved a lovely way to get acquainted.

I was impressed with how everyone helped each other. Neighbors with electricity stored food in their refrigerators for those who had lost their electricity. Volunteers checked up on elderly, sick, and disabled neighbors to make sure they were okay and to see if they needed to be evacuated (in some sort of huge, amphibious vehicle parked in front of our Fire Station). And afterwards, everyone pitched in for all the big Spring Clean Ups in Rio Nido, Guerneville, and Monte Rio.

Dog days coming soon to a park near you …

The Dog Park in Rio Nido has proven so successful that the folks at Russian River Parks and Recreation have decided to build another one on currently vacant Parks and Rec-owned land in Guernewood Park. Although the proposed dog park has generally been well-received, some Guernewood Park neighbors have expressed concern about the lack of adequate parking nearby to accommodate the potential influx of local dog lovers and their furry companions.

The new Dog Park may improve – or possibly exacerbate – a recent, ongoing problem for Guernewood Park residents. During a chance conversation with a Guernewood Park denizen at Safeway – our local social hub where the elite meet and greet – she mentioned that ever since the “No Parking” signs were erected in the Hacienda neighborhood of Forestville, increasing numbers of teenagers and young adults now gather around the site of future Dog Park in Guernewood Park and wreak all sorts of havoc at the nearby beach.

This is confirmed by other reports from recent visitors to this beach who – looking somewhat shell-shocked – vowed never to return. Their descriptions evoked visions of Daytona Beach during Spring Break, but with more mullets and generic beer in those kegs.. At first, I assumed that zealous neighbors had staged these shenanigans (folks do tend to get a tad protective of their neighborhood “secret beaches” around here), but on closer inspection, this formerly lovely stretch of river frontage does appear a tad shabbier these days.

The new Dog Park definitely has potential for providing a nice, shared community space to this already-charming neighborhood. Here in Rio Nido, the Dog Park has helped neighbors get to know each other better. Some now get together for regular play dates for their doggies the way doting parents do for their young children, and it appears that a new romance or two have blossomed as a result. I do hope that the folks in Guernewood Park – who have a Home Owners Association and generally seem to be cohesive and well-organized – can get together and incorporate their vision for the future of their neighborhood into the new Dog Park.

Local businesses report suckiest summer EVER

Egads, I thought our chronically sucky economy was FINALLY starting to turn around. Alas, this recession is the gift that keeps on sucking. Downtown Guerneville looks lively, yet some retailers say this has been "the worst summer ever." Visitors come in to look, but don't buy anything. The folks from Vine Life -- a downtown wine shop which also sells art and novelty items -- have reportedly sold their shop to an investor who plans to move the operation to Discovery Bay, of all places. This will be a sad loss to our community ... and yet another empty store front.

Speaking of empty store fronts, I'm wondering when the landlords plan on getting a $#@%! clue & lowering their rents to realistic amounts that retailers and other small businesses can afford. They shouldn't be allowed to make downtown Guerneville look like cr@p.

Rio Nido residents enter float in annual holiday Parade of Lights

Rock with Rio Nido in the Parade of Lights.
JOIN THE FUN ON OUR 1st RIO NIDO FLOAT!
Saturday, December 5th, 6:00-8:00pm, downtown Guerneville

All folks who live, work, or play in Rio Nido are invited to ring in the holidays & participate in our first-ever Rio Nido float at Guerneville's annual Parade of Lights. All ideas, help, etc. are welcome. If you are interested in participating, please email me & I'll get you in touch with the organizers.

• Theme: Rockin' Rio Nido (in keeping with the parade's overall "A Rockin' Holiday" theme)
• What: 2 cars festooned with holiday decorations -- including Rio Nido's signature Winking Moon face -- accompanied by the world-famous Rio Nido Kazoo Ensemble's rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock". (um, that's us)
• Bring: Kazoos (available at the 5&10) & good cheer. We welcome edibles, libations, & dogs dressed in cute little outfits.
• Wear: Santa hats, reindeer antlers, &/or WARM festive holiday attire (it does get cold).

Next meeting:
Sunday November 29th 1:00pm, Post Office parking lot

• If you want to participate, please join us to exchange ideas, hash out details, rehearse, &/or coordinate logistics. If the weather's bad, we'll move to an indoor location & notify you by email. We look forward to seeing you there.
• Oh, yeah ... the entry fee: We'll also be collecting contributions towards the $35 entry fee , but we know times are tough & won't be keeping tabs on anyone. Please help if you can & don't worry if you can't.
  

Car Decorating:
Saturday December 5th, 10:00am, location to be announced

• We'll need to start decorating the cars on the morning of the parade. If you're interested in decorating the cars for the evening's festivities, we'd love to have your ideas, input, & help. Please email me & I'll tell you where we're meeting as soon as we figure it out.

Meet up for the Parade:
Saturday December 5th, 5:00pm, Post Office parking lot

• We'll all get together & then head over en masse to the parade. We need to get there a bit early because of the logistics, signing in, etc. The floats all line up on 3rd street & everyone promenades & admires each others' floats. We then inch along until we turn the corner onto Main Street. When the float passes before the judges, we pause & strut our stuff. Um ... whatever stuff we've got.

If you want to help, have ideas, &/or want to participate, please email me. All ideas, fun holiday decor, funky hood ornaments, etc. are welcome! Also, we're still looking for someone to dress like Santa & pass out packages of crystal meth ... oops, I mean CANDY ... to the kids along the parade route.

Local daycare offers evening & weekend hours

Spread the word! Teri Foster's Loving & Learning Center (childcare & preschool for ages 0-5) here in Guerneville now offers evening & weekend hours by appointment for local residents, visitors, & folks hosting parties & special events who need childcare arrangements for the little ones. The Loving & Learning Center is a fully-licensed facility & is normally open from 7:30am-5:30pm weekdays. Sliding scale & other funding are available for low-to-middle-income families. Ask Ms. Foster &/or the folks at River to Coast Childcare Services for details. I hope this helps the many parents I know who work evenings &/or weekends. I also hope that the availability of evening & weekend childcare helps draw more events & visitors to the restaurants, hotels, & other venues around here. For more information, see my previous post, New preschool & daycare center launched.

Summer programs at the Guerneville Library

The Guerneville Public Library offers some fun & interesting summer programs for children, teenagers, & their families.

Summer Reading Program for Children: Children visit the library each Monday, writes down the title of the book they read each week on a special form kept on file at the Reference Desk. On the last day everyone gathers for a special reading and ice cream social. Children receive books and other gifts, and have a chance to win one of many fabulous prizes in a raffle.

• Monday June 8th 11am-12pm, Summer Kick-Off: Crafts projects & signing up for the Summer 2009 Reading program
• Monday June 15th 11am-12pm, Drummm: Woo hoo! Drum circles for the Milkshake set! Kids & adults of all ages can get into the groove with percussionist Jeni Swerdlow and Drummm for a fun, interactive rhythm experience. For more information, visit www.drummm.com (oh, so THAT explains the 3 m's -- the drum.com dinaub must have been taken!)
  
• Monday June 22nd 11am-12pm, Mae Lin and the Magic Brush: See the classic Chinese tale of a pint-sized artiste whose paintings literally come to life in Randall Metz and the Puppet Company's stylishly whimsical production.
  
• Monday June 29th 11am-4pm, Museum on the Go: Don't miss this opportunity to see how the itinerant Children's Museum of the North Bay (self-described as "a museum without walls") transforms the Guerneville Library into an interactive, hands-on science exhibit for the day. I applaud this creative & tenacious team of scientists, artists, educators, & dreamers for finding such a clever way to pursue their dream of establishing a children's museum in the North Bay, despite their difficulties in finding a permanent site (hey, why can't we give them a site here on the lower Russian River as part of the Russian River Redevelopment project!)
  
• Monday July 6th 11am-12pm, Temporary Tattoos for Kids: Woo hoo! We can entertain ourselves for the rest of the summer by watching our kids' temporary tattoos slowly flake off.
  
• Monday July 13th 11am-12pm, Python Ron's Reptile Kingdom
• Monday July 20th 11am-12pm, Owen Baker-Flynn
• Monday July 20th 11am-12pm, Summer Reading Program Grand Finale!

Teenagers: Alas, the library doesn't offer quite so many events for teenagers, but the ones below seem worth checking out.

• Saturday June 20th 3pm: Henna Art for Teens
• Tuesday July 7th 2pm: Bleach T-shirts for Teens

West County Buzz: March 2009 (my column in the "Russian River Monthly"

West County Buzz: March, 2009

By Elisabeth Parker

Below, please find my "West County Buzz" column from the March 2009 issue of the Russian River Monthly, our local newspaper.

Into each life some rain must fall. It’s hard to enjoy this winter’s unusually sunny weather, with the threat of drought looming above like a non-existent rain cloud. Luckily, Forestville newspaper publisher and local rainmaker, Vesta Copestakes, took action. “My personal philosophy is that there’s nothing you can’t do something about,” Copestakes brightly asserts. In her Feb. 12 issue of the “West County Gazette”, Copestakes exhorted readers to “Think Rain”, posted messages online, and donned bright yellow rain gear (with a matching set for her dog). She even asked local Native Americans to perform a rain dance, but tribal representatives explained that rain dancing is a Plains Indian tradition.

The power of positive thinking. On Feb. 8, the Ocean Song Farm and Wilderness Center in Occidental hosted the rain dance, and the first drops fell that evening.. Led by Cho'Qosh Auh'Ho'Oh, a Coastal native elder, 100 participants from three tribes, Pagan groups, and nearby communities coaxed rain from the clouds with a ceremony, dances, songs, and poetry. A potluck supper concluded the evening. “It’s just wonderful that all these people came together,” exclaims Copestakes.

Coffee Bizarre and the spontaneous combusting vest. No rain fell on the bright morning of Jan. 22, when an unidentified woman’s vest caught on fire as she nodded off in front of Guerneville’s Coffee Bazaar with a lit cigarette (someone please tell Scotty the Barista to go light on the de-caf!). Mike Millar saved the day with his resourcefulness and the DVD he was returning to the Guerneville Library. Astonished onlookers gawked as Millar vigorously smacked the flames with the DVD, jolting the woman awake into a state of uncomprehending terror. “It was the funniest thing,” laughingly recalls an anonymous woman.

No news is good news. Meanwhile in Camp Meeker, “Things are dead quiet since the conflict over the cell phone tower,” reports Tom Austin. “Dead quiet” aptly describes a town with no cell phone reception. Verizon’s proposed cell phone tower on Morelli La. triggered acrimonious infighting, as residents craving cell phone service clashed with activists concerned about alleged health hazards posed by radio frequency radiation. In August 2008, an anonymous neighbor launched Fight the Tower, a Web site and blog (www.fightthetower.com).

Fear and loathing ... Tensions increased in the following weeks, culminating with angry reactions to a vicious Sept. 16 post likening Fred Meyer – a respected Camp Meeker Parks and Recreation Dept. board member and tower proponent – to Marie Antoinette. Meyer’s wife, Dani Sheehan Meyer, retorted, “This has got to stop.” Things finally simmered down when Verizon backed out of negotiations with CMPRD following a jam-packed town meeting on Oct. 22. Over 325 Camp Meeker residents (out of a mere 425 souls) had petitioned the Board to decline the proposed contract.

When beseeched for even the tiniest snippet of more recent news, Austin paused and then exclaimed, “Well, we’re happy about the rain!”

How many Sonoma County sheriffs does it take to not catch the “Guerneville Archer”? Apparently, an entire SWAT team. On Jan. 28, an arrow struck Monte Rio resident James McNeill on the head, launching a siege on the suspect’s home on Mill St. 29 hours and several canisters of tear gas later, law enforcement discovered that the suspect – 30-year-old Shaun Gallon – had flown the coop. A trained survivalist, Gallon remains at large with a $75,000 arrest warrant out for attempted murder.

Reign of error. Meanwhile, Capt. Matt McCaffrey evacuated the neighborhood, triggering mixed reactions from residents and business people. A local employee who requests anonymity, declared, “It seemed kind of stupid. They used all this high technology and none of it worked.” Amon Sharkey from the West Sonoma Inn reports, “I was working that day. We couldn’t leave because they were shooting tear gas, so I stayed at the front desk and booked reservations.” Jill De Proto of D&G Property Management found things to be a bit more interesting. “We were not evacuated, because we are located behind Bucks,” she explained. The phone rang off the hook with people asking for news updates, while folks from the SWAT team came in and out for water and bathroom breaks. De Proto was happy to help. “It was exciting. We were the ‘Hot Line’ for two days.”

Dejah Dorantes of Forestville jokingly inquires, “How would the Sheriff of Nottingham handle this situation?”

Miscellaneous tidbits. Speaking of Jill De Proto (who also serves as president of the Russian River Rotary Club), the wildly successful annual Valentine’s Day Crab and Pasta Feed attracted 250 hungry locals and completely sold out. “This was a very proud moment for the Rotary,” exclaimed De Proto. Proceeds from the dinner and silent auction will provide $1000 scholarships for graduating high school students. John Chapman (AKA “Milo” from KGGV FM) also reports that Herman Hernandez from Russian River Parks and Rec. debuted his striking new haircut which resulted from the donation of his locks at this event. “He looks like a skinhead,” laughs Chapman.

The following evening, Coffee Bazaar hosted the second annual “Love and Loathing on the River” poetry contest and reading. The winners were Christopher “Oak” Reinier (Guerneville), Deanna Hopper (Santa Rosa), and Shellee Harper Post (Monte Rio). Organized by Terri Carrion from Hemp & Chocolat, the event drew a lively crowd . “It was great,” enthused Barista Angelina Greep. “We had a big turnout with lots of people from all over the county. The poetry was eloquent.”

This column’s first response to the request for news items came from Stephen Gross, and was suspiciously entitled “[Bohemian] Grove to Open Gates to County Homeless.”

Alas, RRM’s legions of fact checkers proved unable to verify this spectacular act of generosity, or the part about a contract with an “organ donor clause” allowing the Grove to recover the costs of any property damage through the sale of organs. For the complete text of this humorous and “The Onion”-worthy article online, go to http://www.waccobb.net/forums/general-community/34117-bohos-open-grove-homeless.html.

OOOPS! CORRECTION REQUIRED: Vesta Copestakes did NOT dress her dog in a rain coat, even if she has a dog. When I saw the photograph of a woman & dog in matching raincoats in the February issue of the West County Gazette, I assumed that it was Ms. Copestakes & her dog & was informed that my assumption was WRONG. Mea culpa.

As the coach in that ancient but memorable movie, "The Bad News Bears" once stated so succinctly, "Never ASSUME anything, or you'll make an ASS out of U or ME."

What’s up with those cheap Russian River real estate listings?

Do you frequently browse the real estate section on Craig’s List or the San Francisco Chronicle & wonder about all those insanely affordable listings for the Russian River*? Perhaps you’ve even visited & salivated over all those “affordable charmers” beckoning tantalizingly from the local realtors’ window displays. If so, I certainly can’t blame you. Especially if you live in the Bay Area & STILL find yourself priced out of the housing market. $650K for a 2BR/1BA “fixer” starter home in a dicey neighborhood with substandard schools? Jeez Louise!

My husband & I finally succumbed to 10+ years of temptation, sold our house in Berkeley, & bought our home in Rio Nido in late 2004. Living out here has definitely required some adjustments, but over all, things have worked out quite well for us. With friends & acquaintances purchasing homes in equally far-flung places like Antioch & Patterson (which seemed far less appealing to us) & facing the possibility of our daughter getting assigned to an inferior school in Berkeley (which can happen even in the most desirable & expensive Bay Area neighborhoods), making the move no longer seemed quite so crazy as it once did.

We revel in the natural beauty around us; enjoy our friendly & caring community & neighbors; love our “adorable, cozy 3BR/2BA” (which, at 1,600 square feet is fairly modest, but spacious compared to our apartment in San Francisco & our teensy little starter-fixer-home in Berkeley); & feel totally thrilled with the Guerneville Elementary School (K-8), where our daughter is now finishing Kindergarten. We’re still only an hour & change from our former haunts in San Francisco & Berkeley … yet we’ve also discovered a surprising number of urban & cultural amenities right here at home.

Too good to be true? Maybe … or … Maybe not.

Are these relatively inexpensive properties too good to be true? As a former resident of San Francisco & Berkeley who is hence privy to real estate insanity, I have to say … maybe … then again, … maybe not. It all depends on how strongly you’re drawn to this place, & what’s truly important to you over the long haul. The Russian River isn’t just a place to hang your hat, it becomes a way of life.

As a person who since early childhood has only experienced life in heavily urban environments, small-town living often feels like entering a bizarre time-warp. It’s sort of like inhabiting Garrison Keillor’s idyllic Lake Wobegon, spiced up with a dash of Charles Bukowski & David Sedaris. For better & worse, everyone knows everyone else, & everyone’s business, which often turns out to be quite scandalous.

Homes are definitely more affordable here. You can still get a decent, 3br/2ba home for $350K or less. I’ve even seen listings for livable fixers for $300K & under. Or, you can have a larger home with all the amenities -- an acre or more of land; modern kitchen with granite counter-tops, newly installed hardwood floors; built-in cabinets, shelves & closets; deck with hot tub; fruit trees, etc. for around $500K.

And these are just the asking prices. In today’s depressed real estate market you might be able to successfully make an offer for considerably less – if you & your realtor handle things right. Even in boom-times, buyers can negotiate with sellers in this area over repairs & other issues, when they turn up in the inspection report. Apparently, our community is too small for even the most desirable properties to inspire the dreaded bidding wars endemic to the inner Bay Area.

On the other hand, you can’t be a total jerk & make an insultingly low-ball offer on homes around here. Yes, some homes are in – or on the verge of – foreclosure (as you can see on Yahoo’s real estate site). But others have extremely low (or entirely paid-off) mortgages, & sellers can afford to wait until the market turns around. I’m also surprised to see that the foreclosure listings are still rather pricey (the bidding for homes comparable to ours starts at a bit more than we paid).

The upsides to living in the Russian River area

Russian River offers incomparable natural beauty; a strong feeling of community; excellent schools & preschools (with free after school programs available for K-8 in Guerneville & Monte Rio); some truly lovely neighborhoods; reasonable commutes to good jobs in some fields; unreasonable – but do-able – commutes to more jobs in the inner Bay Area; & a surprising number of the “city” amenities you currently enjoy in the immediate area, plus more in nearby Sebastopol & Santa Rosa. And best of all ... we don't have any of those ugly subdivisions out here. The Russian River boasts an eclectic diversity of architecture, unique & beautiful properties, & there's something for everyone.

Amenities on the Russian River include:

• Culture: The newly Russian River Music Conservatory in Guerneville & the Pegasus Theater in Monte Rio perform throughout the year. If you like to sing, you can join the Russian River Choir, which performs both classical & modern pieces. We have several popular small live music venues, including The Rio Nido Roadhouse, Main Street Café, & the Pink Elephant in Monte Rio, in addition to the huge Russian River Blues Festival held at Johnson’s Beach every year. We also have a variety of art galleries featuring works by talented local artists & a book club at the Guerneville Public Library. Writers do readings at the River Reader bookstore in Guerneville. For national & regional acts, the Wells Fargo Performance Center is a short distance straight up River Road.
• Food: We have lots of good restaurants around here. Our favorites are Mosaic, Applewood, Stella’s Cafe, the Village Inn & the River’s End for fine dining; Nit’s Thai Creations & Sizzling Tandoor for great ethnic food with a view (the former is on the river in Rio Nido, the latter overlooks the ocean in Jenner); & the Rio Nido Roadhouse, River Inn Grill, & the Garden Grill for delicious & affordable casual/family dining. Lots of folks around here also love Taqueria Tapatia in downtown Guerneville. Also there’s our iconic local hangout, which is Pat’s Diner by day (good, greasy, comfort food) & Chef Patrick’s by night (with affordable classics like chicken marsala, plus an assortment of more innovative dishes).
• Outdoor recreation: With the river, Armstrong Woods, & the coast nearby, there’s plenty of hiking, surfing, fishing, & bird watching around here. It’s fun to canoe & kayak around here & a few places to rent them if you don’t have your own, or take guided tours. And we also have the lovely Northwood Golf Club, where you can golf under the redwoods. Western Sonoma County is also a beautiful place for bike rides for both serious & amateur cyclists. If you’re serious about physical fitness & also need indoor recreation, there’s the wonderful, full-service Airport Club gym within easy driving distance in Santa Rosa – it has just about everything, including childcare. For folks with simpler needs, we also have a nice, inexpensive, place right here in town (the Gym for Everybody). The service is friendly, the equipment is very basic, & the owners will enthusiastically help you create a good custom work out if you need help. People also frequently go wine-tasting, apple & berry-picking, & mushroom picking.
• Kids/Family fun: River To Coast Childcare Services offers Kindergym for the crawler through preschool set on Monday & Tuesday mornings (9:30am-12pm), with an assortment of fun art, music, literacy, & physical activities for the kids. Kindergym also offers opportunities to connect with other parents/caregivers, plus the RCCS folks all have extensive Child Development education & experience & can address any questions & concerns about ages & stages, etc. that you may have (they’re really nice & non-judgmental – many of them are also bilingual/Spanish). RCCS can also help you find childcare in the area & obtain subsidies if your annual income qualifies. The Guerneville Public Library has a fabulous story time/literacy hour on Wednesday mornings for the little ones & Saturday movies for all ages at 12noon year-round. They also feature events (including music, magic, & nature talks) during summer vacation, which appeal to kids of all ages (& grown-ups as well). For summer swimming & water play, there’s the Rio Nido Pool, Johnson’s Beach, & Monte Rio Beach. West County Services runs an excellent after school program during the school year at the Monte Rio & Guerneville elementary schools, & also a summer camp ($100 per week) at the Monte Rio Elementary School & swim lessons at Johnson’s Beach & Monte Rio Beach (you’ll need to call them – they don’t update their Web site terribly often). Mama Java’s Coffee Shop (on Route 116 next to the Northwood Golf Course) in Monte Rio also has an ongoing mother’s group, which meets on Monday mornings.
• Our schools: The Guerneville & Monte Rio Elementary schools go from Kindergarten through 8^th grade. On the GreatSchools.net Web site, we have good ratings in terms of test scores (7 out of 10, with “Distinguished Schools” awards from the state for meeting goals & increasing test scores even though we’re a rural & low-income area), & EXCELLENT 4-5 star ratings from happy parents. Our small campuses encourage an intimate, accepting atmosphere. Older kids mentor the younger ones as “reading buddies” & classroom helpers. Through our environmental education programs, children plant, tend, & harvest our school gardens & also learn to enjoy preparing & eating what they’ve grown. The kids take numerous field trips & participate in various enrichment programs, including art, music, computer lab, folk dancing, band, athletics, & more. We also have resource specialists for special & gifted education. Parent involvement is huge – my daughter’s classroom alone has at least seven parent volunteers. Class sizes are small & our children truly have the opportunity to grow up together & contribute their individual abilities towards this community.

That’s just a sampling what you’ll find in the immediate area. There’s much more in Sebastopol & Santa Rosa. And we’re still only an hour & 15 minutes (if you time it right) from San Francisco, Berkeley, & Oakland.

… And the downsides

Alas, the Russian River definitely has its downsides. Although we’re only about 60 miles from San Francisco & 20 miles from Santa Rosa, this area can still sometimes feel remote. There are basically only two ways out of here – River Road & Route 116 & -- depending on where you live – a few back roads. If there’s an accident or road construction (which you can look up on CalTrans’ Web site), you’ll need to find an alternative route &/or add 15-30 minutes to your trip.

And, yes, we do sometimes have floods, though it isn’t nearly as bad as outsiders think. Most homes are away from the flood-line (or have been raised above it, thanks to Russian River Redevelopment funds). We don’t have flash floods & hence have plenty of time to prepare (basically, we need 10 straight days of rain for a major flood to occur). But when a flood seems imminent, you will need to decide whether to stay in, or stay out. You should also keep a stash of emergency supplies around, just in case.

You really need to be laid-back & tolerant in order to live here, because you’ll have all sorts of neighbors, including: aging hippies, nouveau hippies, bikers, bible-thumpers, rednecks, Latinos, senior citizens, registered Republicans, & meth addicts, along with the cast of characters you already know from the city: young professionals, foodies, middle-class families, ultra-liberals registered with the Democrats or Green Party, Latinos, Sikhs, gays, lesbians, artists, musicians, writers, & … yes … a sizeable homeless population. And these are just the human neighbors. Prepare yourself for deer (who adore late-night snacks from your garden), brown recluse spiders, poison oak, wild pigs, raccoons, possums, & more.

And, yes, the Russian River does have the reputation as the methamphetamine capitol of Sonoma County, though much of this nefarious activity has moved up north, to Clear Lake & Mendocino counties. Alas, crystal meth has cursed rural areas in recent years, just as crack began wreaking havoc upon urban areas 20 years ago. Potential renters & homebuyers seriously need to take a look at who their neighbors will be, before making an offer on their home. On the other hand, we don’t have gangs out here & (as a parent), that’s a HUGE plus for me. When push comes to shove, I strongly prefer disorganized crime to organized crime.

You’ll also need to slow down. Way down. Rude city habits like tailgating; huffing impatiently when the person in front of you chats leisurely with the cashier while writing a check (yes, people actually do write paper checks around here); or making vehement political statements with the assumption that everyone shares your liberal views (many do, but some don’t), can quickly make you a social pariah. Folks around here are generally kind & tolerant towards one another as a matter of necessity, as well as personal inclination: You never know when you might run into someone again … or need their cooperation or help.

Career-wise, you’ll need to do some planning & research. We do have a reasonable job base with a handful of local employers & professional jobs only 30-40 minutes away in Sebastopol & Santa Rosa. Some folks hang on to their city jobs – it helps to have an employer who is flexible & allows telecommuting. If your job requires lots of travel, it may not matter so much where your home base is located. Many people successfully own restaurants, retail & other small businesses out here, but things can get tough during recessions & during our “off” season.

Also, you need to be aware that many properties around here are kind of “funky”, because many of them were built as summer vacation homes, not for year ‘round use. Keep an eye out for odd layouts, lack of insulation, & wood burning stoves as the only heating source (very charming & highly economical, but a pain in the neck for those who don’t enjoy chopping wood & sweeping ashes). Also, we don’t have natural gas out here, we have propane, which is more expensive – especially if your propane provider owns your tank & rents out its use to you.

For homes that aren’t hooked up to Guerneville’s sewer, septic systems can be a major issue. In general, septic is cheaper … until you have a problem or need to increase your capacity – which is often difficult or impossible to do in compliance with today’s more stringent codes.

Our abundant redwood trees are both a blessing & a curse. They provide beauty, privacy & shade, but they are also like giant weeds: they are highly aggressive, grow shockingly fast, & sprout out new saplings from their roots at a brisk rate as these giant Ents attempt to surround your home in a fairy ring. They have long & extensive networks of roots, so you’ll need to make sure they won’t potentially undermine your foundation. Redwoods growing within 5 feet of your house may prove hazardous to your home & eventually need to be removed (an expensive undertaking – renting the crane alone can cost $1500+). The redwoods drop huge amounts of leaves, branches & other debris on your roof & your car over the course of a year. Prepare to spend a few hundred per year on “limbing” & other maintenance to remove dead branches, keep the trees healthy, & ensure that your property receives a reasonable amount of sunlight. Fortunately, the Russian River abounds with good arborists.

Doing remodels & repairs may prove more expensive than you think. Although we have lots of good contractors who charge less than you would pay in the Bay Area, I’ve discovered that the Permits & Resources Management Department (PRMD) in Sonoma County is even harder to deal with than the one in our former city of BERKELEY (& that says a lot). Not only are they bureaucratic & uncooperative, they also have a reputation for giving people a hard time about previous & totally unrelated work that was done years before you bought your place. I do, however, appreciate the fact that SoCo’s PRMD has made their entire set of building codes available online. Also, there has been a new wave of young & eager hires, freshly graduated from the top planning programs at universities like Berkeley & Portland, OR, who are pushing for reforms & inclusion of new technologies & greener systems in the building codes.

If you think that your property taxes will be less onerous than what you’re paying in the city, think again. The percentage levied on the value of your home (what you pay for it) will be higher than what you would pay for a similarly priced home in the city (though there ARE no “similarly priced” homes in the city), because: (a) the cost of our services is distributed amongst fewer people; & (b) according to many long-time residents, Sonoma County’s government is evil, corrupt, & venal. On the other hand, you really do come to have an understanding of & intimate relationship with where your tax dollars are going, because many of the folks who provide these services are your friends & neighbors – who are all in the same boat & pay the same taxes as you do – & they care about this community & work awfully hard to make things right.

If you are still interested in buying a home here:

The Russian River isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve always felt drawn to this place, go for it. The natural beauty is incomparable. We did it three-and-a-half years ago & have few regrets, even though we bought close to the top of the market & have gained little – if any – equity (it helps that we have a 30-year fixed mortgage with a low interest rate & that we’re definitely here for the long haul).

• First of all, you need a SAVVY REALTOR who really knows this area & all the different neighborhoods & types of homes & who can steer you away from the potential pitfalls. Ideally, your realtor should actually LIVE here on the Russian River, have strong connections with some local contractors, & have a good understanding of what it’ll REALLY cost to fix things that turn up in the inspection reports.
• Make sure your potential home has decent INSULATION (many don’t). Otherwise your energy costs will go through the ROOF (literally as well as figuratively) during the winter. Our heavy winter rains also make our homes prone to rot & mold.
• DON’T buy a place as a vacation home & assume that you can defray the costs by offering summer rentals unless you have deep pockets &/or really know what you’re doing. It’s hard to profit from rentals when carrying a mortgage. Plus, there’s maintenance, taxes, etc.
• If you’re handy & willing to build “sweat equity,” you can get a good deal on a “fixer.” But you’ll need patience, because you’ll probably need to stay for several years (fix-&-flip people need not apply). You’ll also need some cash for the repairs, because home equity loans are hard to come by these days.
• Unlike San Francisco, Berkeley, & the Peninsula, you can actually negotiate with sellers around here when making an offer. Invest in all the appropriate inspections. Make sure that all work done to your house was done with a permit. If it wasn’t, negotiate for a lower price.
• Homebuyers are often floored when their first property tax statement arrives! To avoid this unpleasant surprise (& have sufficient funds set aside), review your future home’s property tax statement. Although the previous owner’s assessment will be considerably lower than yours, you can go through the list of items & percentages & do the math.
• “Funny financing” schemes like ARMS, 100% financing, liar loans, etc., can get you in trouble on the Russian River. Even when the real estate market is sizzling, homes take at least 3 months to sell. Oh, well. The banks probably don’t offer these types of loans anymore. You need to do conventional financing (20% down, 30-year-fixed) & be able to afford the payments at least somewhat comfortably. Fortunately, this is entirely possible on the Russian River, if you plan things right.

Still interested? For more information about the Russian River & to get an idea of what it’s like out here, visit the following Web sites:

• For an eloquent description of the Russian River , see the our Community Profile page in the Santa Rosa Press Democrat's Real Estate section.
• For a business directory & calendar of events, see: Russian River Chamber of Commerce in Guerneville.
  
• For a comprehensive & well-organized travel, events, & "things-to-do" guide to the Russian River, check out Russian River Travel.
• For a glimpse at local life & politics, visit the West County Gazette.

*When I mention “the Russian River,” I’m mostly referring to the three towns located within the Russian River Redevelopment Area: Rio Nido, Guerneville, & Monte Rio. This is where I live & what I know best. More “official” folks, like Craigs’ List, wine makers within the “Russian River” appellation, & local realtors also consider parts of Healdsburg, parts of Windsor, the unincorporated part of Santa Rosa, Forestville, Occidental, Camp Meeker, Duncan’s Mills, Cazadero, & Jenner to be the “Russian River.”

Ballet Folklorica: A fabulous peformance

My daughter, husband & I attended the performance of Ballet Folklorica -- a group of elementary & middle schoolers which perform traditional Mexican folk dances -- at the Guerneville school. First, there was a delicious potluck supper provided by the dance group & supportive parents. It was YUMMY. Then ... after what seemed like FOREVER ... the dancers had finally gotten into their costumes & were ready to perform.

It was well worth the wait.

The kids were totally AMAZING. Dressed in colorful costumes, they performed folk dances from various Mexican states & regions. Their footwork, precision, & energy made for an entertaining evening. The dances which particularly stand out in my mind are: Danza del Viejito (Dance of the Little Old men) -- in which the boys disguised themselves as little old men (complete with masks & canes) & shuffled along comically; Danza de los machetes (Dance of the Machetes) in which the girls delicately & rhythmically flounce their dresses like butterflies while the boys perform elaborate manoevres with toy machetes in rhythm; & Danza de las brujas (the Witches' Dance) in which beautiful young ladies in flowing, white, lacy garments create a hauntingly beautiful spectacle as they weave their spell beneath black lights with candles balanced delicately upon their pretty heads (obviously, they only let the high school girls perform this particular dance!).

My daughter is now totally hooked & can't wait to sign up next year (the program is available after school starting in first grade).

River Rattina v.s. Dolan* the Evil Safeway Pharmacist

(*His real name has been changed)

Tune in for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)’s new, exciting entertainment extravaganza, premiering this week at a Safeway near you: It’s wild, it’s violent, it’s rated PG13 … it’s … Russian River Rattina vs. Dolan the EEEEE-Ville Safeway Pharmacist! Place your bets before they go to the mats!

But seriously … is it just me, or does anyone else have unnecessarily frustrating experiences with the Safeway Pharmacy in Guerneville? Barbi’s awesome, of course. She’s friendly, efficient, & caring. There’s also another nice lady with light-brown, shoulder-length hair, whose name I don’t recall because I don’t often come by during her shift. Alas, these women can’t possibly work every single shift. And the guys they have filling in … ugh!

First there was the young man with Asian features who worked on Saturday, November 10^th. I attempted to get my prescriptions filled & wound up leaving empty-handed & so utterly frustrated because the man was so rude & utterly obtuse that my little rattikin stroked my hand & said, “Please don’t cry, mommy.” Apparently, several other customers found him to be rude & it doesn’t look like he’ll be coming back, thank gawd.

I came back on Tuesday the 13th hoping that Barbi would be there. She was, but alas, there were a lot of customers & I got stuck with Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist. He’s the tall, thin guy with wavy, graying hair who glares at you resentfully when some issue with your prescription requires him to actually use his brain. As is usual for River Rattina & her Little Rattikin when Dolan is at the counter, we wind up asking when he’ll be finished so we can do the rest of our grocery shopping (mind you, this is for prescriptions I had dropped off three days ago & they should have called me if they couldn't fill them).

We return to the counter 30 minutes later & the prescriptions STILL aren’t ready & my little rattikin is tugging at my sleeve begging to go home because it’s dinner time & she’s “starving” (though I must admit that it isn’t Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist’s fault that my daughter has a hollow leg & gobbles up what seems like three times her weight in food every day). Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist holds up a piece of paper with my signature for the missing prescription, glowers at me accusingly, & demands, “Is this your signature?” “Yes,” I replied, then explained that the pharmacist didn’t actually have the medications ready & I had walked away empty-handed. “You shouldn’t have signed for it then,” comes the sneering reply. “Well, I didn’t know he didn’t actually have it ready.” I explained. He keeps demanding in menacing tones, “IS THIS YOUR SIGNATURE?” I tell him that this isn’t helping to solve the problem at hand, & that I can’t go any longer without my refills.

This goes back & forth for what seems like FOREVER & I’m getting more & more frustrated & upset. I mean, does this guy think I’m trying to scam him for extra refills of Flonase & Albuterol allergy/asthma medications so I can sell them out on the street for recreational use? I raise my voice (& my voice carries rather loudly to begin with) in supplication to Barbi, who’s a few feet away, & plead, “Why does stuff like this keep happening?” She asks me to be patient & that they’ve had some people filling in, & we’ll get things straightened out. Alas, my daughter’s losing it & I am too. I’m on the rag, feeling hungry, cranky & crampy (I can't think of names for the other four dwarves), have a cold & have spent WAY too much time on this.

Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist then informs me that he isn’t going to help me any more, because he’s “FEELING THREATENED.”

!!!!!!!!!

If I weren’t feeling so danged ANGRY, I’d feel somewhat FLATTERED. After all, I’m a 5’6”-tall, middle-aged, overweight mom who teaches Sunday School at my church & he’s a tall, 30-ish male who towers over me, is behind a counter with sliding plexiglass doors, & who happens to be in possession of my asthma & antidepressant medications!!!! I'm a THREAT? Woo hoo! I’m so mad, I want to tell him, “Okay, let’s make a deal: You give me a break for being mentally unstable, I’ll give you a break for being mentally incompetent, & we’ll call it even!” But I don’t, because that wouldn’t be nice.

Thanks to the saintly Barbi, I finally walk away an hour later with my refills. She tries to calm me down, but I tell both her & Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist, “I have every right to be angry, this shouldn't keep happening, & I don’t appreciate being treated in such a rude manner.” He loftily replies, “I do not have to put up with this,” & I sharply retort, “Yes, actually, you DO, because you work here & are supposed to act like a professional. I’m going to report you to your supervisor.” Though, of course, I probably won't ever get around to it, because I do not know who his supervisor IS & honestly, it isn't WORTH it.

Mind you, I’ve worked as a receptionist, waitress, & cashier & hence try to be extra-nice to folks who deal with the public all day, because I know it’s hard & also because I'm normally a doormat type of person who really wants people to like me. Also, most of the folks who work at Safeway & around town are my friends, acquaintances & neighbors who work hard, do a good job & are nice -- especially to my daughter & children in general. But I do get angry when I feel that someone is annoyed with me & deliberately refusing to be helpful when they’re SUPPOSED to be trying to help me because it’s their job. The fact is: Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist just plain old doesn’t LIKE me for whatever reason & never has. Oh well, sometimes stuff like that happens.

From now on, I’m going to Lark’s Pharmacy so that Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist won’t spike my next refills with pepper spray.

GRRRRR! 22 hours have elapsed & I’m STILL steaming mad! My reasons for feeling TOTALLY TICKED OFF are as follows:

1. This sort of thing happens almost EVERY time I deal with anyone else but Barbi & the other lady;
2. This keeps happening with prescriptions I’ve already dropped off – sometimes a day or two before;
3. We’ve had the same doctors, health insurance & medications for well-over a year & refill these exact same prescriptions every 4-8 weeks. They should know the drill by now;
4. I try to be nice & offer to come back in 30 minutes whenever there’s a problem (they’re out of the medication, the doctor needs to call in a refill, or the mysterious & Zen-like “it won’t go through”), but when I return, my prescriptions STILL aren't ready;
5. There SHOULDN’T BE any problem because I dropped the danged things off TWO days ago & they could have called me or my doctor to fix the problem before I returned to pick them up; Actually, Barbi DID do that once last year & I was grateful; and
6. Nobody should EVER talk that way to a customer, even if I WERE actually being rude. If Dolan the Evil Safeway Pharmacist had truly felt “threatened” by little ol' me (BWAH HA HA!) , then he should have called security.
   

WHEW! Now I feel MUCH better. So much for my scolding Mr. Guccione & others at RRROC meetings for not always being civil with one another. I guess I'm a total hypocrite. You can take the gal outta New Yawk, but ya can't take the New Yawk outta the gal. I totally forgot that anger is illegal in the State of California. Whoops.

RRROC Elections: & The Vote-Worthy Incumbents Are ...

In my previous posting, I encouraged my readers (both of them) to vote for the incumbents in the upcoming RRROC election on December 11th, 2007 & explained why. These folks are committed, caring, & work well together. These currently serving RRROC members who wish to retain their seats (heaven knows why -- it's an awfully thankless & unpaid job) are:

• Business Owners/Operators: Lynn Crescione & George Zastrow
  
• Residential Property Owners: Dan Fein
• Residential Tenants: Catherine Young

Additional RRROC members still serving out their terms (& who are hence not running for re-election) are: Ken Wikel (business owners); Tom Lynch (who is running for Mike Reilly's post as County Supervisor) & John Uniack (residential property owners); & John DeSalvio & Sheila Peterson (residential tenants).

These folks have worked awfully well together to pass through a variety of worthy projects which have drawn wide support from the community -- including the following:

• Funding for our beloved community radio station, KGGV FM;
• Renovations to the Koret Club (now called the Monte Rio Community Center) & the River Child Care Services building;
• Creation of two attractive parks alongside the Russian River in Guerneville;
• Construction of our first public restroom at the Guerneville River Park;
• Elimination of "urban blight" (um, don't they mean RURAL blight?) via the Spring Clean-Up, & removal of abandoned vehicles & unsafe abandoned buildings;

The currently-serving members have fought for -- & received -- unprecendented levels of provision for public input in the design & implementation of these projects. I'm sure the challengers are equally caring & passionate & have worthy qualifications, but things are balanced & going well & why rock the boat at this point?

Current RRROC Chair, Dan Fein, & Catherine Young particularly stand out in my mind as people who have supported redevelopment project proposals while also insisting upon -- & receiving -- provisions for public outreach & local control. I am also highly impressed with John Uniack (whose seat is not up for grabs this year), for his rigorous insistence upon the exercise of due diligence concerning the legal & financial aspects of redevelopment. I also adore Tom Lynch & Ken Wikle, who passionately advocate for public restrooms, affordable housing, & other much-needed community infrastructure.

Once again, I feel ethically obliged to publicly express my support for Dan Fein, who wishes to serve on RRROC for another term. Current legal provisions prohibit him from acting as Chair again. But that's okay. Mr. Fein is well connected, acts well as a team player, & does not exhibit any major attachment to his chairperson-ship.

KGGV Strawberry Festival -- Saturday June 2

KGGV 95.1 The Bridge, our local radio station, is hosting the 2nd Annual Strawberry Festival this Saturday, June 2nd from 12noon-6pm at the Guerneville Community Church on Armstrong Woods Road. ADMISSION IS FREE!

Join us for a day of music, food & fun for the whole family, featuring:

• A chocolate fountain
• Free games & activities for the kids
• Raffle with fun & fabulous prizes
• Strawberry King & Queen Contest (register in advance at Kings & Queens in Guerneville)
• Best Strawberry Dessert Contest (bring in your berry favorite recipe)
• Live Music ALL DAY LONG with: KGGV Jazz All-Stars; Midnight Sun; Jake Richmond Band; Happenstance; Tribal Groove with DJ Damien & Friends; & Sadie Damascus

Visit KGGV's Web site or call 869.1131 for more information.

My Guerneville River Park wish list

In my previous posting, I enthusiastically praise what Parks & Rec has done with the new Guerneville River Park. However, I do have reservations concerning future plans for the rest of Phase I, along with Phases II & III.

Here is my personal wish list for the Guerneville River Park going forward:

1. A floating outdoor stage: If the outdoor stage area is built according to the plans submitted by Parks & Rec to the RRROC, I'm worried that it'll look like a concrete monstrosity (le Corbusier meets Home Despot). Parks & Rec recommends using concrete & stainless steel to protect against flooding. But perhaps we would have more aesthetically-pleasing options if the outdoor stage could float. This may sound crazy, but entire neighborhoods of amphibious houses that can float in case of flooding are being built in the Netherlands (which is notoriously below sea-level).
2. More natural materials in the landscaping: I understand that we need to use concrete & steel for the bathroom, picnic tables, paths, etc. But can't we soften the potentially forbidding effect through judicious use of natural materials for the borders, low concrete walls, etc? For example, a wood border around the concrete pads for the picnic tables (& perhaps some hardy ground-cover plants within the bordered area) would look nice.
3. And more landscaping in general: Perhaps the RRROC can provide funding for hiring a local landscaping contractor who's creative, knowledgeable about hardy plants that thrive in our little microclimate, experienced in both hardscaping & softscaping, & who understands maintenance & construction issues. Jaimie Hart, please send RRROC a proposal ASAP!!!!
   
4. Public Art: I think it's important for our new park to showcase the unique natural beauty & creative talents of our community, instead of just looking like any old park. We could have sculptures by local artists like Karen Ryer of the Withywindle Gallery in Guerneville or whoever makes those wonderful found-art sculptures of people & animals like the guy with the red, light-up nose on River Road. A few redwood burl benches by local craftspeople, enclosed in arbors designed by local gardeners/landscapers would look wonderful. We could also commission a mural for the outdoor stage area. Perhaps a local arts organization could request funding from the RRROC for commissioning these public works & artists could then submit applications.
   
5. A pedestrian/bike path connecting the playground, basketball court & tennis courts at Drake Park to the River Park: This seems like it would be a no-brainer, since connecting the two parks would create a unified recreation area & keep our children from getting run over by cars.
6. Regular maintenance for ALL of our parks: I hate to think of what our new park may look like in a few years if we don't maintain it. Alas, someone told me at the RRROC meeting that we don't have any funds for ongoing maintenance & would need to pass a ballot measure for a special assessment of $10 per parcel. I would vote for this, even though we can barely even afford to pay our current level of property taxes. (Where does all of that money go? I have this recurring image of County personnel running hundred dollar bills through the paper shredder to use as confetti for the yearly office holiday party ... no wonder the 2nd installment is due in December) Or we could organize groups of volunteers for work days. I'd be willing to volunteer -- but I ain't touching that portapotty in Drake Park. Perhaps we can create a new & prestigious-sounding position such as "Lord Chamberlain of the Drake Park Portapotty" & set aside funds for a modest weekly stipend in exchange for keeping the portapotty clean & sweet-smelling. Fat chance.
   

That's it for now, since I still need to plough through a whole buncha documents before I have any real sense of what will be happening in Phases II & III -- such as the "boat portage facility" & parking for boat trailers & recreational vehicles. And,what, exactly, does Parks & Rec mean by the "interpretive signs" they plan to add in Phase II? Are they related to interpretive dance?

I imagine myself standing in front of one of these "interpretive signs," gazing at the abstract symbols & frowning with puzzlement as I try to figure out what dance the creator of the sign wants me to perform. If I don't get it right, the Park Police won't allow me to proceed to the next "interpretive sign." Oh wait ... there's no money for maintenance, hence no Park Police. Whew!

Guerneville River Park: Phase I almost done

200701 River Park

Yours truly, Russian River Rattina, takes a walk through the newly-constructed Guerneville River Park with three kids, two dads, a talented troubador with a guitar, & her camera. You can click on the picture or text link above to view my photo album with pictures I took of the park. If you don't want to leave this page, right-click on the link & select the "New Window" or "New Tab" option from the list.

I am delighted to report that even in the embryonic form of the final stages of Phase I, the park offers lan enjoyable experience with lovely views, paved trails, public restrooms, & a couple of picnic tables with barbecue grills. The Parks & Recreation department has done a good job so far, but the construction of the restroom facility cost more than the original estimates & they have requested an additional $110,000 from the RRROC to construct more group & family picnic sites (there are 2 so far) & build the ampitheater to complete the first phase of the project.

Three phases are planned for the construction of this park, to add more trails & picnic areas, landscaping, an outdoor performance space, river access, space for boats & RV's, & more. For more information, please read on ... and/or visit the Sonoma County Parks & Recreation Commission's Guerneville River Park Web page.

After looking over the plans included in the RRROC meeting packet, I do share many of the concerns expressed by the committee heads at the meeting. There does seem to be an awful lot of concrete & stainless steel involved in this project (for the seat walls, pavers, retaining walls & other landscaping features as well as the actual buildings) & these are not the most aesthetically pleasing materials in the world. To some extent, this is necessary due to flooding & maintenance issues. But it would be nice to offset all the concrete with some more natural (or natural-looking) materials.

The tale of our park excursion

A few weeks ago, a friend suggested taking our kids to the "new River Park." I responded as many folks around here might: "Um ... what new River Park." When he explained that you can get to it via the Guerneville Foot Bridge or from the extension on Drake Road (near Drake Park & under the bridge) & described it as "really nice," I shuddered in horror & uttered a bizarre, gurgling sound. After implementing the heimlich maneuver & checking my pulse, my friend kindly suggested doing something else.

My daughter's & my last exploration of the current park site (about a year ago) was not pretty & involved copious quantities of garbage & broken glass. We were taking a walk along the Guerneville Foot Bridge & the evil monkey grew increasingly curious about the steep, narrow, muddy foot-path leading towards the river. So we stumbled, slid, & clambered down. The location was lovely, verdant & peaceful. Alas, it was also utterly filthy.

"NO, honey, you may NOT take off your shoes!"

My daughter gleefully scampered about gathering "treasures" (um, garbage) into plastic bags. Apparently, my mania for picking up trash has evolved into a fun game for her. Meanwhile ... ghastly visions of my forcibly holding my daughter down to the emergency room table while nurses with latex gloves probe the gashes in her tiny feet with tweezers for shards of glass & steel & who-knows-what; administer tetanus shots with long needles; briskly stitch up her wounds, & then inform me that my daughter has not much longer to live ... run through my head over & over again like an infinite video loop.

Fast-forward to yesterday: My friend & I take the kids to the playground at Drake Park to enjoy the beautiful weather. Another friend of ours is there with his little girl, his guitar & his buddy who serenades us with some lively, tuneful country songs (including a number by Alison Krauss & a witty political song of his own composition). After an hour, the children start getting restless & we decide to walk over to the new park.

It's a bit muddy & the meadow will look kind of naked until the newly-planted trees take root, but overall, the place does look "really nice" -- just like my friend said.

Yes, the doors to the new restrooms do face directly onto the path & are locked in the open position, as John Uniak pointed out at the RRROC meeting (though one can close the doors to the individual stalls, of course). However, I asked my friends & a couple of men passing by what they thought about the new restrooms & they all gave the facility rave reviews. Of course the subjects of my informal poll were all guys who probably see anything as an improvement over peeing in the bushes ... But my daughter is extremely picky about bathrooms & we were both extremely happy about not having to use that nasty portapotty at Drake Park. However, the guys might feel differently about the privacy issue when the park is full of people ... especially if the men's room has urinals in addition to stalls (I didn't look).

The kids had a grand-old time running around the meadow & exploring, though I think their favorite feature was the huge pile of boulders underneath the bridge! Parks & Rec also planted a lovely little rosebush, but I'm worried that the poor thing might get trampled.